A muslim parents advise to their teen-aged daughter

Dear daughter,

You are a wonderful person and your mother and I think the world of you.  It will not be long before you leave home to make your way in the world.  Can I please give you some friendly advice?  Here are some things that you should never do.

1.  Never Despise Yourself.

You are great and capable of achieving great things so believe in yourself.  When things go badly never stop believing.  Some girls get depressed, blame themselves and lose self-esteem.  All sorts of problems can follow.

2.  Never Get Obsessed with your Appearance.

We think you look great (though some of the outfits you wear worry us!).  Please be happy with the person you are and the body you have.  Eat sensibly, take exercise and be healthy.  Some girls become obsessed with losing weight or getting the perfect shape.  You look fine.

3.  Never Live Beyond Your Means.

Throughout life try to keep your spending within your income and so save a little.  Avoid getting into debt if possible.  There are some exceptions – like getting a mortgage to buy a house – but generally if you can live within your means you will avoid all sorts of problems.

4.  Never Compromise Your Personal Safety.

Never put yourself at serious risk.   This means that you cannot trust people until you really know them and that sometimes you have to avoid things that look like they might be fun.   Never get drunk or take drugs. Unfortunately there are some malevolent people out there and it is best not to take undue risks.

5.  Never Get Involved with a Man.

  Don’t get entangled with a man no matter how attractive he is – it will end in your tears.

6.  Never Give Less Than Your Best.

We are very proud of what you have accomplished so far.  You should be proud too.  Keep doing well.  Keep trying your hardest at everything you do.  No one can ask for more than that.

7.  Never Forget that Your Parents Love You.

Whatever happens in life, your family will still be your family.  Whatever difficulties you encounter you can always talk to us and we will try to help.  We are here for you.

8.  Learn to Say No.

Many people become overloaded with too much work because they overcommitt; they say yes when they really should be saying No. Learn to say no to low priority requests and you will free up time to spend on things that are more important.

9.   Continuously Improve Yourself

Make time in your schedule to learn new things and develop your natural talents and abilities. Continuously increasing your knowledge  can help boost your character. Read News instead of watching TV programs.

10. Identify the bad habits

Identify and list your bad habits that are   stealing your time, sabotaging your goals and blocking your success. After you do, work on them one at a time and subsequently eliminate them from your life.

11.  Plan your studies

Spend some time at the beginning of each week to plan your studies.

12.  Write things down

A common mistake is to use our memory to keep track of too many details leading to info overload. Use a To-do-List.  

13.  Don’t be perfectionist

Some tasks don’t require your best effort. Learn to distinguish between tasks that deserve to be done excellently and tasks that just need to be done.

14. Learn to Relax

Working hard is important, but you also need to take time off to relax and energize yourself. The extra time off renews your energy and gives your brain much needed rest.

  15. Learn and Understand Quran

You need to first know the Purpose of Life...the purpose why Allah  created us?

If we had been created by the Creator, shouldn’t we expect that He would tell us the purpose of our creation? Shouldn’t He tell us on what basis He is going to judge us on the Day of Judgment?

So what does the Creator, Allah, tell us about our purpose in life? Allah states in the Quran that He created man to be His Khalefah, His trustee on earth (Quran 2:30).Mankind’s basic trust, our responsibility, is to believe in and worship Allah:

And I did not create the Jinn and mankind except to worship Me… (Quran, 51:56-58)

Very simple! The purpose for man’s creation is to worship the Creator. The essence of Allah’s message through all of the prophets also was: O mankind, worship Allah, you have no deity other than Him. (Quran, 7:59,65,73,85; Also 11:50,61,84; and 23:23,32).

Allah further states that He made this life in order to test man so that every person may be recompensed after death for what he has earned:

[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving. (Quran, 67:2)

But in order to worship Him, we have to know Him well otherwise we may form a distorted concept of Him and then go astray. In the Quran Allah tells mankind what He is and what He is not. For example, in response to a question about Allah that was posed to the Prophet Muhammad , Allah instructs Muhammad to give the following reply:

Say (O Muhammad): He is Allah [Who is] One, Allah, the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born, nor is there to Him any equivalent. (Quran, 112)

It is clear from this that Muhammad is not the author of the Quran otherwise he would not have shown that someone is dictating to him what to say.

Also, Allah has to tell us how He wants to be worshipped, which He does in the Quran. He also tells us in the Quran that all Prophets came with the same identical message to their people - that is to believe in Allah and to worship Him. He also tells us in the Quran that all the people of other religions have deviated from the original teachings of their prophets.

16. Muslim girl's guide for how to deal with guys

 Life is full of crazy obstacles, but the one that will probably bug you the most and always be getting in the way is the opposite gender.

No Touching!

Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-Mahram (Mahram is your dad, brothers, father-in-law, husbands, grandfathers, and the siblings of your parents) person of the opposite gender. That means no patting o*!n the back, no hand shaking, no pushing, no shoving, no holding hands, and obviously no kissing and all that. If you're in a difficult situation where you think someone will try to shake your hand, the best thing to do is just smile because we believe a woman's touch is a privilege and she doesn't just share it with anyone.

No Boy—friends!

The easiest way to ensure that you don't end up falling in love with some guy before you're ready to get married is to avoid making friends with boys. Of course in school you have to interact with boys all over the place, but that doesn't mean you should be best buds with them. Probably 90% of relationships begin from friendships. Chances are you're not ready for marriage, your parents aren't ready to let you get married, you're still in school/college and your crush is not the sort of fellow you want to spend the rest of your life with, so just avoid being friends with him in the first place.

When you have to talk to boys in school as teammates, lab partners, group members, and peers, it's best to maintain a distance. That means that you don't confide in them, you don't let down your guard, you don't unnecessarily engage them in needless conversation, don't joke around, and never flirt. Yeah it may be a little hard, but this is your afterlife we're talking about.

So many great sisters have put themselves in really sticky situations because they allowed a boy to get to know them, and either ended up liking the boy, or having the boy like them. o*!nce that happens you either end up becoming a pair (which is HARAAM!), or having to end your friendship. Instead of letting it get to that point, and then having to kill a friendship that you probably worked hard o*!n cultivating, you should just stop it before it begins. There are plenty of great girls all around who can be your friends and if you really think o*!nly a guy will understand your problem, then talk to your REAL brother, or your father, or an uncle.

“..... And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun** till they believe in Allah alone and verily a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik, even though he pleases you....”[2:221] **

Islam considers the husband head-of-the-family and therefore requires that a Muslima cannot marry a non-Muslim because she will be under the authority of a non-muslim husband. He may prevent her from carrying out her religious obligations by either pressuring her or physically abusing her. But it is not the sole reason for imposing the restriction. The situation is considered very damaging for the woman to practice Islam afterwards and even worse for the kids in such marriages.  There are NO conditions mentioned under which a Muslim woman IS allowed to get married or remain married to a non-Muslim husband after she has accepted Islam. Therefore, even if she has freedom to practice Islam after marriage, she is NOT allowed to enter into an inter-faith marriage.

No Talking o*!n the Phone with Boys and Chatting!

In Islam its forbidden for non-related guys and girls to be alone together because there is the chance for physical zina, vocal zina, and zina of the eyes. That means, with no o*!ne there to watch you guys except that boogery shaitaan, then you might be tempted to actually DO something, or say gross things, or just stare at each other all lustily. With that in mind, it's also a safe bet to assume that talking o*!n the phone with non-Mahram guys is a no-no too. Why? Because unless you've both got it o*!n speaker-phone and you're chaperoned by a responsible person, then you're still kind of "alone" with him. The people in your house can't hear what he's saying to you, and his family can't hear what you're saying to him. There's a chance for some bad stuff then, so just avoid it. Not to mention, having some dude saying things into your ear that no o*!ne else can hear would be gross in real life, why is it okay for him to talk into your ear via the telephone? For the most part it's just too intimate.

Well, imagine how ungrateful it is to act like a supreme idiot when Allah can see you all the time, and it's really stupid to disregard the religion that Allah prescribed, the favors He's bestowed upon you. How dumb is it to take the eyes thatAllah gave you and do things with them that He told you not to? (like goggle at boys?) How much stupider is it that He can see you doing this, and you know it! You have no secrets! Not because Big Brother (whoever that is…) is watching you, but because every single thing you ever did will become public domain o*!n the Day of Judgment, and you'll be brought to trial to defend what you did. Just don't do anything that you wouldn't want your parents, your siblings, your teachers, your friends, and the whole world to know about, ok? GIRLS BEWARE PLEASE... IT IS SERIOUS! HELP YOURSELF It has recently been found out that there are some spammers present on Orkut,  MSN or Yahoo! profiles etc who download the Photographs of Girls from their Profile and they get 5 cent per photograph. These photographs are later sent into Image Editors like Photoshop where they are morphed and superimposed on the images of *!*!*!*! Stars. These people are so expert in this field that the photographs looks completely real and anyone can get deceived by generated images. These photographs are then used for multiple purposes like Printing in International Magazines, Uploading on paid *!*!*!*! Sites and sometimes even blackmailing. And the post consequences are a known fact. So after knowing about this fact my advice to all sisters of my brothers here to please remove their photo's from Orkut,hi5 and other places and don't give the culprits a chance to do play around with You.

17. Be a true Muslima  

I am referring to the verse in the Qur'an Surah Al Imran (Surah No.3 Verse 102)

 “O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam”.